DATING IN 2018
By: Monet Schlotterbeck
It’s Friday night. You’re alone at home. Your homework is done, and you want to spend sometime with that special someone. But, how do you choose to reach out to them? Technology has made it so that a once awkward situation of having to reach out to a crush in person; we can now engage in digital courting right through our computer screens or mobile devices. We are less inclined to pass that secret note of “Do you like me? — Check yes or no” box. For many millennials, they will simply just swipe left or right on their phones. With instant access to endless information, media consumption, and even companionship via the internet through our pocket sized computers. Are we doomed to become emotionless pod people, who don’t value what is truly in front of us?
In this episode, we explore our infatuation with technology and how it has evolved our communication with one another. And how we use it to facilitate a romantic relationship. We ask the question, “Does our usage of technology help to bring us closer, or create a barrier that disallows for true human interactions?”
Dr. Falon Kartch, an Interpersonal, Family, and Communications Theory Professor, at Fresno State University, gave her perspective on how romance and communication has evolved in the digital age. “I think apart of how we have adapted to technology, is to use it a little bit to help mitigate that anxiety. Because to send the email or the text feels a little bit more comfortable than addressing the person face to face, or over the phone. So I think in a way we’ve adapted it so we don’t have to push ourselves out of that comfort zone,” Kartch said.
I spoke with David Leon, Criminology Major at Fresno State, about his experience in relationships facilitated through technology. If he had much luck in the dating game with swiping left or right? “I seriously feel like social media is like a dating site as well. It just depends on how you use it. Because people find each other through Instagram, Snapchat, Facebook, but personally I’ve been on Tinder,” Leon said. He admitted to quickly ending his online dating experience, after being Catfished.
With instant access to information and even potential romance, does that lessen our perception of value on said relationships? Do millennials still think it is IN to label their relationship? Julian Cano, an Accounting Major at Fresno State, discusses the parameters of even if you’re not an official couple. Figuring out what that relationship will entail, can save a lot of heartache and stress.
“I definitely think it’s something people need to talk about with one another, to figure out where they are in terms of like on the same level. Are we going out? or Are we just seeing each other? Are we just messing around? I think it’s definitely worth while to figure out what kind of relationship you have with somebody else, in the terms of said relationship,” Cano said. Students I spoke with had similar views on relationships.
Many young people are opting to get an education, rather than settling down in a traditional home life. The cost of living, and crippling debt many students endure to get their degree has impacted whether or not they are engaging in marriage and starting families.
Kenisha Daily, is a Fresno State student, who met her boyfriend on the infamous Tinder app. Daily gives her perspective on why she believes many young people are waiting to get married. “As of right now, thats not something that I want on the table. I think marriage before used to be based on social expectations, and then a way to secure your wealth, your possessions,” Daily said. “Now the way the economy is setup, people don’t really have possessions to secure. People don’t own homes like they used to. Socially no one really expects people to get married, for the most part depending on your social class it varies. You don’t have to be married to have children now. Marriage isn’t much of our priorities.”
Regardless, of what the older generation may think of how millennials choose to communicate. There is still relationship expectations, just in the form of a new medium. It is through digital courting through our mobile devices.